Narcissistic men find the need to always be in control, over every single detail of your life. They get envious of others easily, making them wary and questionable when you spend time with others. Some are so bad that they do not even allow you to leave your own home without you receiving consent from them first. This can even lead to an emotional and physically abusive relationship.
So, how to deal with your narcissistic husband? Well, first it is important to recognize what and who you have chosen and reflect on the motives that he like your husband led you into choosing him as a partner. Many individuals who fall in love with narcissists actually have issues with co-dependency and do not have the confidence to set boundaries and be on their own.
Understanding your role within a narcissistic relationship is vital in the process of being able to truly confront and reflect upon yourself, and then to challenge yourself to change your half of the relationship dynamic.
If you truly love this person and have faith that they can change, there are some things you can do to keep the peace.
- Do not contradict or deviate with them
- Learn what matters most to them,
- and compliment them on those aspects often
- Ensure that most if not all statements are somewhat or all about them, do not mention yourself often
- Do not ask or require intimacy from them (this could also be a good motive to protect you as well)
- Encourage them to talk about themselves.
- Do your best to act fascinated with the words spewing from their mouth
- Start the process of isolating your finances from theirs, in secret of course.
- Begin to look for emotional support from others, especially from those that may be in the same situation as you
- if you are a parent, a single parent. Take care of your children and the chores on your own, never asking your partner for assistance.
- Last but certainly not least, take quality time to practice self-care. It is more than crucial to know and keep your sense of self during this sensitive time.
If you are not planning to cut ties at some point, you are going to have to change some things about yourself that no woman should have to do in a marriage. There is no time like right now to take back what has been stolen by your narcissistic hubby.
If you are to remain married to this sort of man, you are going to have to gain and build confidence that is strong enough to deflect even the biggest arrows he is going to shoot your way. Having such confidence will ensure that you remain calm in the toughest of situations.
You have to keep in mind that no matter what, the scenario, time or place, YOU are the most important person in your life. Your needs do matter, even though your husband doesn’t deem them as such or maybe doesn’t see them at all. You have been used to being his servant, only taking the crumbs he leaves behind as yours if there is any. Even though there will be friction, MAJOR friction, you have a right to take the icing from the cake occasionally. You and your needs are just as important as his.
Learn to walk away from the tantrums that narcissistic men tend to throw, sometimes on a daily basis. They want to burst your bubble, to get you on their petty level. No matter the bad looks or grimaces he shows upon his face, just walk away from the situation. Otherwise, you are just fueling his fire, which ignites from upsetting you. If you do not act phased, the little fire he tried to start automatically burns out.
For there to really be any hope of actually recovering from a narcissistic relationship, the person who is a narcissistic man has to overcome the self-centered and arrogant traits that plague them. They have to have the power to challenge their self-feeding habits and pseudo-independent stances. Developing their capacity to have compassion and empathy for others is vital.