Assuming you are ready for a relationship it’s time to move on to the strategies you should use when you start dating someone. Let’s review what you need to achieve on the first two or three dates:
1) You want to make sure that your date is searching for a relationship.
2) You want to make sure that they are capable of healthy communication.
3) You want to screen your date for red flags.
we will show you how to quickly establish whether it’s worth trying to develop a lasting relationship with your date.
1. Is this person really in the market for a relationship?
the dating world is full of people who just want quick flings. and people who are only dating to get over their ex-partners. and Here’s how to make sure that the two of you are on the same page: Ask them insightful questions and see whether they reciprocate: People who are looking for a meaningful relationship want to get to know their date.
Once you’ve moved past the small talk stage, ask them a few questions about their favorite dreams and most treasured goals. If they ask you a few similar questions in return – and seem interested in what you have to say – this is a positive sign. It’s not a guarantee that they want a serious relationship, but it’s a good start.
Pay attention to any mention of ex-partners: All references to an ex should be brief, relevant, positive. If they casually mention numerous ex-partners, this isn’t a good sign.
It suggests that they have poor judgment when it comes to relationships, that they get bored easily, Proceed with caution! One day, they might decide to talk about you in the same way.
2. Does this person have the ability to communicate in a healthy manner?
Try these tips to find out whether they have a history of good communication with other people, and whether they can handle everyday tension and conflict: Ask them what kind of people they like to hang out with, or ask them to describe their closest friends.
when they tell you stories that suggest their friends are unpleasant or have poor social skills, you should consider yourself warned.
Try to get a handle on what kind of relationship they have with their parent’s children who have a secure, healthy relationship with their parents are more likely to have healthy relationships as adults.
This doesn’t mean that people with unhealthy family relationships cannot learn to become great communicators.
3. Are there any red flags?
Some red flags are obvious. If they are married, tell you that they struggle with alcohol addiction, or haven’t held down a job in years, it’s time to bail. But what about signs that they aren’t good communicators?
They can’t say “sorry:” Someone who can’t give an apology is to be avoided. At best,also they may have a bad memory. At worst, they could be a sociopath who takes delight in manipulating other people.
They talk a lot – but don’t really say much of value: Have you ever walked away from what felt like a great date, only to realize that you hadn’t learned much about the other person? Don’t ignore this red flag, because it suggests that they have trouble sharing personal information with other people.
If you suspect that they are hiding something, you are probably right.